France…

To put it simply, it was an amazing trip. However, it would have been even better if there had been more males. Out of the twelve that went to France, there was only two males and one of them (not being me) was married…
Anyway, the fact that I was the only single guy there did not make it an amazing trip…
Lille was an absolutely beautiful city. I thought that it was amazing as soon as I laid eyes on it.
However, what really made this trip a really great time, was the fact that I was out of my normal surroundings and therefore subconsciously, I think, was in a way more open to God’s peace and word. Some of my thoughts were put into place. Words were put to my thoughts in a way that I couldn’t have done. Certain things that need to be thought about a bit more, and other things that just need to be put down for the time being…

...

Please pray for me, i find it hard to know how to act around some people. please pray that God will help me and give me the wisdom on how to be a witness for Him and not screw it up every five seconds. To think about Him more than just in the mornings and maybe sometimes in the evenings. But to be totally devoted to serving Him, who died for ME and loves ME with this unconditional love that we as a human race will never be able to understand while on earth, as we are too simple.
How increadible. I am too simple to understand the person/thing/GOD that loves me the most. i mean what a thought...

But yeah please pray for me because i am very capable of screwing things up big time, esp friendships

Thank you for your prayers...
Take care
Alex

Old love...

Sup...
today i was talking, well more like listening, to this couple who will have been married for 60 years on thrusday. one of my room mates asked them, 'so how do you get 60 years of marriage?'
The man answered 'four words two at the beginning and then two for the rest of the time; 'i will' and 'yes dear''
What an answer... they both then went on to say there has to be loyalty and trust, and also humour. that is what they said in about 1 minute, and then they left, but i mean there is a lot more to keep it going, but that is what they said and i know that, that was jsut scratchin the surface...

Someone, and they know who they are, always used to say that they loved to see old people in love. I would always think, never out loud, that it was just not too attractive to me. But today after spending a bit of time with this couple, i can see the beauty in old love. There was something special about them, they still had the spark between them. It is something that i think you cannot, or at least i cannot put it into words. There are only a few things in this world that you cannot put into words. This is one of them, the love, the connection, the something between two people who are truelly in love, and i don't mean lovy dovy stuff, but the really stuff.
God is another thing you cannot put into words. We are celebrating his resurrection today. But think about it for a moment, whose resurrection and why did He have to be resurrected. it was for YOU.
Take care
Alex

Its been a while...

It has hasn't it? The reason is not because i don't like you, and so i don't want to tell you what has been happening, but because, well i have been so busy that i had not see my computer for about a week. Now that is saying a lot. We had a camp here of about 48 people for a week. The camp was amazing. The theme was Peter Pan, don't ask why, that would be just silly (i don't really know myself, all i know is that it was and therefore i went along with it).
I was in charge of a specific group for the week, my group was the Lost Boys, and form the name you can see in which position we came in, yeah joint last with the crocodiles. Half way through the week the leaders that had come with the group decided to join the two groups and called us the Lost Crocs. The other two teams weren't too impressed, The indians came first with the Pirates close behind.
It was a race for the week. they had to save the four lost boys that had been captured by Hook and taken to his secret hide out. But first they had to get the fairy dust from down a cave, to stop Hook from getting it and then flying. They also had to get directions for different places by completing tasks such as climbing, jumping into a pool (walking the plank wit condifence) and then walking all over an area of Wales called the Gower. it was great fun, and extremely tiring. the second to last day we walked pretty much all night and so for the next two days i was going on 8 hrs of sleep. but it was worth it.

Now that it has finished, i am getting ready to go to France for three days to gain some Pastoral Training. This is something i see vital for helping Christians grow in their faith, not only when they take gap years but throughout their life, now it may have a different name such as small group, or mentor and it may also look a lot different. However it is the essence which is the same. It is the initial consern for a fellow Christian and wanting to see them grow. i know that i got a far share during my time in Egypt, esp from a guy who first came as a youth interen and then, well saw jsut how bad in shape i was and then came back to put my in line... no just kidding, but he did come back and was the assosciate youth pastor.
Please pray for the trip to France and that i get a lot out of it and can then use what i learn in the future...
Take care
Alex

We Sprang forward...

Well for those of you who didn't know or woke up late today, the clocks went forward...
therefore i went to bed at about one last night... Today was sunday. I didn;t really want to go to church last night or this morning really... For the last few weeks i have not been enjoying the worship... it has made me feel uncomfortable and just not really enjoying the services, and so i was thinking, oh look, it is one in the morning i need to wake up at nine, which means 8hrs of sleep, and then church which i wont really enjoy, why, why go?
But i went, and well guess what, i enjoyed it. The service was absolutely amazing. It was all about Grace. Not the girl... if you know anyone called grace (i know two), but the thing that Paul talks about... Grace is never mentioned in the gospels, not once, and yet it is the way Jesus lived.
He was full of it, everything that He did, was graceful... as in full of grace. The worship was also just really good. It was not making me feel uncomfortable, but helping me to actually worship... funny that huh... :) No really it was really good. We even watched a video clip, and i thought it was going to be something like watching another worship service (which it has been before) but it wasn't, and well it was all about Grace, and i really enjoyed it. Everything about todays service was good. This morning my prayer was to just have a hunger for God... I think that we can live in a lukewarm situation for too long and just pass on through life. I think that this gap year is allowing me to see that when i get too comfortable it is time to pray for Hunger... It works. I have prayed that prayer before, and whatever i have written about prayer before hand and whatever went through my head about prayer, was due to me praying about being hungry for more. God answers prayers. When you stop and think about it, it is crazy, but He does, and it is awesome...

I just wanted to share with you all that i was thinking about today. I wnet to church and i couldn't stop smiling, i couldn't figure out why, and then i realised, it was a God-thing, nothing more, just a really big, cool, amazing, awesome, incredible God-thing. I hope that you experience a God-thing too, no, actually i hope you realise when its a God-thing

Take care
Alex

Climbing nd more climbing... i love it

Well here are some more pictures. This time they are of my last climbing adventure. I am really pleased with the amount of progress that i have had in the past few weeks with climbing. I can remember the first time that i lead a route. After it i was so pleased and siked, and now when i lead the same level of route as my first one, i don't get the same rush, but find it simple... in a way, and so i a looking to climb more challenging walls... it is a lot of fun, if you have never done it, you need to find someone who can take you... it is great, esp if it is not a competition, or there isn't any pressure on you, but you can jsut go with some friends and have a good time...





I tried to book my training for a climbing award, and i was looking on the events calender to find some room. I found a gap in our schedule and checked with the others if they were able to do it then, which they all could. So i called the place to try and book it and they told me why i had found that gap on the calender... it was Easter weekend... thanks for telling me guys... :)
Oh well i am still looking...

Take care
Alex

Pictures from the Weekend...

The task... building a raft of some sort to paddle on the dock... Against the other team... the blue barrel worriors... i think my team was called something pirates...





The team i was with, was ready to win...


The first barrel pops out of place as soon as it touches the water...


The second barrel a few minutes later...


And well after the third and fourth barrel go, the only thing left was to reach bouy and take it back for my team to touch, before the others go there...

Take care
Alex

Photos

Climbing on a Saturday at the Gower... Great fun

Ok, guys here we go, back to prayer…

After reading document a friend sent me and then finishing off the first part of Philip Yancey’s book called PRAYER, I wanted to share something with you all.

He is talking about the way females just go on about different things, moaning about the weather, the long walks that they were taking (in the scenario in the book) and so on… ritual lamenting. However, then he references it to the bible… now hear me out guys…

“Jeremiah whined, complained and filled an entire book with lamentations. Job, who gave the most irreverent speeches in the Bible, emerges as the hero in the end, the spiritual director for his censured friends… From the Bible’s prayers I learn that God wants us to keep it in the alliance, to come in person with out complaints. If I march through life pretending to smile while inside I bleed, I dishonour the relationship.”

Right, well ok, next question, why is it so hard to do this? Why do we struggle to bring our complaints to God? Or well I guess some people do that very well, and I can do that rather well on occasion as well, however, this evening I had washing up time. We wash up once a week and a bit on the weekends at the house I stay in, and tonight it was my day. There was a lot to do, and I mean a lot… The father of the house said to me, (can’t remember his exact words) ‘oh just tell God to come and sort things through with you, you are gonna be here a while.’ And I joined in and said ‘yeah, I am not going anywhere for about an hr and an half…’ but I found it really hard to even start, no I couldn’t. I couldn’t even just talk.
… also today was prayer morning, and I was praying by myself and someone came and sat next to me and then started to pray out loud. Everyone else was praying around someone… and I thought that I would just stay where I was in my seat and pray for which ever one I wanted to. I prayed once out loud with the person next to me, but I felt really weird. It was really strange and frustrating. I felt really uncomfortable… I just don’t get it…

oh well back to the book…

Take care,
Alex

Kayaking...

What an experience. Have you ever been on a river in a boat? Well I have and I must say it is not something that I was able to pick up very easily, in fact I am still rather unsure of what I am fully doing.
On my first river experience I managed to dunk myself three times and get stuck. The nose of my boat was facing straight up and I was pinned to a branch that had decided to invade the path in which I was proceeding to follow.
The first time I went in, well I didn’t really mind it; apart from the fact that I got hit in the head but a rock and then when I decided to just peacefully, defensively swim (which means holding onto my boat and paddle lay flat of my back with my feet up) was struck again by another rock on my tail bone.
The second time I went in, I thought great, what fun, once again. However, this time there was no uncomforting rocks. The reason I had gone in that time was because one of the leaders had told me to come across to the other side of the river. I had tried to explain to him (jokingly) that I preferred the side that I was on. But he didn’t listen. And then once I had fallen in (I would like to add, not on purpose) and managed to get to the shore, which may sound easy, but trust me even after doing it as many times as I have, it doesn’t help having the current pushing you down stream. So I get to shore and look up and find that I was on the side that I was told to come over to, just a little further down stream, but everyone else had decided to go over to the other side. They just couldn’t make their mind up…
However, once I got stuck, I started to get rather frustrated. At first I thought oh this is great, I have done it all, it just can’t get much worse. I was cracking jokes the whole way. I asked for a cup of tea and a donut to pass the time. But when I saw one of the person’s face, who had to come and wade in with another two people to de-stuck me, I started to feel stupid and irritated with myself. I was only holding the group up really…
Right after the place where I had gotten stuck, there was a grade three rapid. (the grading system on rivers goes up to about 5, or at least it is recognised up to grade 5, rivers do get harder…) at first I thought that I would definitely not go down it, but then I thought well there is no way in which I can get stuck and really hold the group up really. Worst comes to worst I go in for a third time, which I did. When I went over, I thought that I would start to get out of the boat, but then realised that I was only halfway down the rapid, so decided to wait until I had gone down into calmer waters, on the way I realised that I was having to hold my breath and that I was running out, so I thought that I had better get out soon. I had forgotten that my boat was a little tight. But I am out and alive… a towline was thrown to me and I was pulled ashore. But I did let go of my paddle; I think more of out frustration that I had gone in yet again, than forgetting to hold on to it.
And Friday I need to brace myself for my second experience…
Take care
Alex

More on Prayer...

Following up from my previous post on Prayer, Things have been
interesting, for example, i feel that i don't know how to pray and
this frustrates me. More so, i feel uncomfortable during prayer
meetings. Every thursday there is a prayer meeting, and this thursday i
did not feel as though i could stay through it, so i went to the
bathroom and did not return to it.
I would love to say that this was the extent of my prayer struggle,
unfortunately i haven’t really been having great prayer times on my
own either...
Right ok, this next part may seem to be a really big leap from what i
just said, but i am not too sure how to link them together, and in
my mind they lead on from each other. During this period of my prayer
struggle, i have been thinking what it means to be lukewarm. Also i
was thinking about me just not praying ‘properly’, and what effect that
had on my relationship with God.
Though this doesn't make me a bad person (well, in some ways perhaps it
does?),
but what i'm trying to say is that even non-Christians, and Christians who
have fallen away, or who are less committed can still be ‘good’ people.
I am NOT thinking
about giving up my faith, no not at all, i want to go deeper,
but prayer is such a big part of it and at the moment i am going
through a desert.
Another factor that has been influencing me over the past couple of
weeks is the thought: 'what puts someone off going to church?' 'why do
people get hurt by the church and how?' I am currently living with someone
who has
decided to turn away from his faith, and i want to understand why that is. I
also want to
know why people who are not Christians decide to become Christian...
What is
it that makes someone go one way or another...
The other day i found it. I was not really feeling up to being at
church and i was ready to walk out apart form the fact that it was
pouring with rain. We were having communion and i thought that it would be
wrong for me
to go up at that point, so i tried to find what it said
about communion in the Bible. Unfortunately i didn't find it, but i
did read Matt 26 (the middle of it) and at the moment i was intrigued
by Jesus. I realised what frustrated me so much, not in just church but
just in general with Christian communities. There seems to be a
‘fakeness’ to them. That’s what really gets to me.
Sometimes i really
feel ashamed to say that i am a Christian, because it has put so many
people off, and i can see it for myself right now. It is the fakeness
of the people. Please understand i am not pointing the finger at
anybody or any group specifically. But as i read the bible in church
on Sunday, i saw that Jesus was real with His disciples. That He was
kind, calm, knew what He was here for and followed the Fathers
wishes...
I don’t want to be fake... i want to get to know this Jesus that i
read about in the Bible. Who is real. I really just can't stand the
fakeness and what we, Christians, have made Christianity into. Not every
Christian is fake, hear me on the one loud and clear, but people have
been hurt through the fakeness of certain people within the Christian
community and therefore have labelled it that way...

By fake/fakeness I mean when people put up an image, and when they think that they know best for the group, or even when they just think that they know best and that they are better than people who don’t believe exactly the same thing as them. However, it also means something else, and I am trying to explain it, but I am having a bit of trouble, I guess it is the imperfectness that we, as imperfect beings have brought into Christianity. Sometimes you can just say no, this is not what Jesus would have done. I want to be able to do that, but then to go and do what Jesus would have done… Does this make sense?
Take care
Alex

Thoughts ah, head growing, not fitting, exploding...

No, not really, just kidding. Thought that i would over exaggerated it
a lot. The other day someone said to me that they do not see me staying
on here for another year. This got me thinking, why not? I went away
that evening thinking about it, and i came to the conclusion that i
could not stay on here for another year, because in effect i am not
doing all the things that my heart loves doing. I haven't played
football since before Christmas, and that is something that i love, and
i mean with a passion. I have always looked to the future and wondered
what it will bring, and a lot of the time it has frustrated me cos i
wont know unless God shows me a glimpse or i get there... But when i
asked
this person what they meant, they said to me that it was because from
the beginning of the year, i have been sort of uneasy (now this is me
trying to remember what they said and then try to get it out in
writing... forgive me), in a way unsure of what i was doing here, the
same way they felt about going to University and in the end not going.
It made a lot of sense to me then, and now i am not sure that i am
making any sense... but that maybe this was a transitional period of
what i had been doing or more of what i knew before and the unknown
that was to come.
Some of the people here(where i am) have my blog
and may be thinking this strange of what-have-you, but well for one
thing, i will be trying to play football for a club from the area in
which i live, and i would tell you the club name, but i can't spell it
cos it is WELSH... but also at the same time, i am not thinking what am
i doing here (anymore) am i supposed to be here, but more of 'ok, i am here, what does God want to show me, who does God want me to meet, what can i learn...'
Thank
you all for your prayers and you care, i am looking forward to seeing
all of you who are not here with me now, very soon, God willing, (EnShaala)
Take care
Alex

Ok with this post i need some feedback, more feedback than normal... I want to pose a question about prayer "Do you understand prayer?"... I don't... We are told that it is the greatest weapon against the devil, and yet we struggle to understand our greatest strength... I see that as a strategic move by Satan. He has fodged up our view and understanding of prayer, so that we do not use it to its full potential.
Right, lets jsut break it down, what do we know about prayer? It is a conversation between 'me' and the God, WHO? the Creator of the Universe, the One who keeps my heart beating and my lungs breathing, without it either of those things passing through the intricate series of nerve to my brain, to say pump and breath.
What does a conversation invovle? Talking, Listening, Talking, Listening, Laughing, enjoying yourself (possibly, some conversation i know that i could do without... ), so it is TWO WAY. Not just me talking. well the not talking for me is not too hard, but the focused on God is silence, well that is just taking it to the next level, and you may still just find me staring blankly into space...
Next thing we know, (i say we cos i want to know what you think)... Prayer is a powerful thing. There is prayer for healing and for taking demons out. But then the thing that gets me is, why does it not always work? I have never tried to cast out a demon, and i have never really prayed for healing for someone because i am scared that it will not work. I have never seen a miraculous healing. I have prayed with a big group about two different people at different times, both in the past year, and both of them have been healed, but in both cases i did not see a difference straight away. Maybe others who were closer to the two people did, but i didn't.
Having said all of this however, last night, which was between this paragraph and everything else i have written, i was at a youth concert at the church that i go to and i have had a really bad stomach and all that goes with it, but i said to God, well i would really like not to have to rush off halfway through the night and then also on my walk home (which is about 40mins). and well although i did run off after the concert and then once i got home, i haven't been since... which in a way just adds to the confusion.
I really just don't understand it very much, and one thing that i really struggle with is praying in groups. Why talk out loud to God, who you can;t see, in front of other people. I know we need to be doing it because we are commanded to, but i still struggle with it a big. i would much rather pray by myself, most of the time. However there are times when praying with a friend is really good and i really enjoy it.
Well what do you guys think?
Take care
Alex

Scotland 2007 pictures...

Me and Joel


Nick (the leader) and me


Sarah killing the ice...


We climbed there...


Ben Nevis...


At the top of Ben Nevis...

Oh what a rush...

Well we are back from Scotland, all in one piece. It has been a crazy hard week, everyday waking up early, and then setting off to walk or climb a side of a mountain, in the snow and cold. But truth be told, we had amazing weather. On wednesday the skies cleared and, oh boy oh boy oh boy, what a view... I would love to have shown you what i saw that day but i lost my camera film while going up Ben Nevis, which is the highest mountain in Britain, so you will have to make do with what other people saw, which is pretty much the same as me:)...
A few facts of the week for you:
-My beard froze three days out of the Five
-For a few moments i was the tallest person in all of Britain
-It was cold
-There was a lot of snow
-I had fun and probably do it again, but only after a while, so that i forget the pain in my legs...
The community that we had was just really cool. I feel that we are got that much closer while on the trip.
On the personal development side, one thing i was thinking of was that we have all been created individually, by that i mean that we are all different and that is what we are supposed to be. I many situations where i have found myself in a bit of a stux, i have also found myself thinking what someone i respect would do in that situation. But as i walked through the snow, making my own tracks instead of following behind with the others, i realised that i was being an individual and that i was being different and that God made me like that and that He delights in us when we are ourselves...
Well pictures will follow....
Take care
Alex

Craziness has happened at last...

Hello, this is a really short post and a really quick one, but none the less an important one. Please pray for me for the next two weeks.
On Sunday i leave for a Scotland Winter Mountaineering training course for a week, which will be intense. please pray that i will have a great time and we will all get on with each other and learn a lot but also just be able to give glory to God for His great creation.
Then once i get back we have a youth camp for a week during the half term, with local kids who have been kids out of the schools. Please pray that it goes well, esp the organisation and that we are able to get through to the kids and that i will just be a witness to them.
Once that is finished, well actually before that is finished i have a student weekend that i still need to finalise plans and get everything sorted for it. Please pray that it goes smoothly and that in all i have a good time.
Thanks for your support...
Take care
Alex

Enough words...

I have had a complaint about not having many pictures on for a while, and to be honest with you i was thinking the exact same thing.
Enjoy...

My first upfront rugby game...

both of them missed...

what a dive....

Action ready...
but still after that i would have to say that i still prefer football...

Take care
Alex

Prayer...

I am reading the book by Philip Yancey called Prayer. It is really a really good read. I personally struggle with prayer, as most people do, that is why he wrote the book… in the first chapter he raises some really good points, such as “We pray because we can’t help it”, and a quote from Thomas Merton: “’Prayer is an expression of who we are… We are a living incompleteness’”.
“In other words, prayer has features in common with all relationships that matter.” And his last paragraph of his first chapter starts like this: “If prayer stands as the place where God and human beings meet, then I must learn about prayer.”

One interesting question that he asked many people is, does prayer satisfy you? I asked myself and I must confess that only sometimes does it satisfy me. The other day I was struggling with a lot of frustration about all sorts of things, and I can remember writing an email of just BLAAAAH, to my parents. When I read the reply, I felt so compelled to pray, that it was incredible, I can’t really remember very clearly a feeling like this before. It was just a groaning from my inner being. After that prayer I was satisfied, but I want more of those experiences, I want to feel close to God and to learn more about Him and grow in Him.

Well may you encounter God this week like you have never before…
Take care
Alex

Thoughts that cause problems...

I have been thinking for about a week now, where is my place. It may have something to do with me moving out of the compound, but i think that, that is only a small part of it. I think that there is a bigger picture involving God. It always involves God, but this is special. I have moved out of my parents house and their protection, now how do i fit into the world? What is my role? Where do i go to University? And after that? Then what? These are all questions that only God can answer, and i am waiting to here from Him. I can see that there is room to do things for God in the very place that i am right now, but i don;t know how to go about it. Also i don't know anyone for more than four months, but those people are not really around me most of the time, it is new people, new responsibilities, which means again settling into something that is new in a way, a frustrating way, as i have already been in the same building for three months, but have to start again with the getting to know my role, my place and those around me....
Well i hope that you too have troubling thoughts, not so that you find it hard, but because it i during the troubling times when you rely on God more and then He as able to move in you more powerfully...
Take care
Alex

Moving...

Since my last post a lot of things have happened. For one i have now moved out of the dorm, or as other people like to call in the compound, which i have been staying in for the past three months. It was a great experience but now that, that is over i am in for a lot more new experiences. For example, me moving out signifies that the first part of my gap year has come to a complete, and now i am moving into the next part.

The next part involves an a lot more active role, meaning, that instead of taking lectures most of the day, i will be out and about, hopefully getting my kayaking and climbing awards, doing student work and other many more adventures. For about 4 weeks from last week, we will be doing two trips, one to a mountain and then leading ourselves all over the place to learn how to use a map and walk about, and the other trip to a cave so that we can see the beauty that God has created beneath the ground....

Also, i need to make a note of this, becasue i have moved out of he compound it means that i cannot just sleep in and get up just in time for some breakfast and then straight into whatever is happening that day. No, not anymore, now i have to wake up early enough for breakfast, making my packed lunch, and then riding in on my newly found bike which takes about a half hour. However i hope to shorten that time once i have sorted my bikes' back wheel out. At the moment it rubs against the frame of the bike, slowing me down quite a bit when i am not peddeling...

But so not to end on a moan, the family that i am living with now is great. They foster two boys aged about 8 and then there are also two of the guys that i work with every day who also stay with the same family. It is really nice community there. However, please pray that i can quickly settle in and start to feel like it is my home as well, or at least that my room is my home but i also live here... Thanks

Enough of my move for now...
Take care
Alex